So, so much to talk about....

Here's an outline-

Parenting

Foster

Food

Church

Tristan

Parenting

An excerpt from a handout we were given in our Foster class (just essential for parents):

Behavior Labeling

If an adult writes in a book we call it doodling

If a child writes in a book we call it destroying property

If an adult sticks to something we call it perseverance

If a child sticks to something we call it stubbornness

If and adult seeks help we call it consulting

If a child seeks help we call it whining

If an adult forgets something we call it absentmindedness

If a child forgets something we call it lack of interest

If an adult tells their side of the story we call it clarification

If a child tells their side of the story we call it talking back

If an adult raises their voice in anger we call it maintaining control

If a child raises their voice in anger we call it a temper tantrum

If an adult hits a child we call it discipline

If a child hits a child we call it fighting

If an adult if reinforced for behaving appropriately we call it motivating

If a child is reinforced for behaving appropriately we call it bribery

- Ann Anzalone

Foster Process

So we keep getting told that we are almost done with the process and we keep thinking what? we haven't even done one training yet.  Well because of our schedules it worked out that we have all four of trainings in the month of October and three of them were this week!  So now four days later I do feel like we are almost done!  We did our Foster Boot Camp (two day training) and our Adoption Training.  They were great trainings and honestly the Foster Boot Camp could be taken by any parent and teach you so much!  I was actually looking forward to today's information because it was a lot about Love Languages, Love and Logic, and Discipline.  We're in a tough time with Tristan right now and are struggling with how to parent him the best way.  Thankfully I'd already been reading Love and Logic info and Love Languages so today just added to my info and reinforced our new parenting strategies.
***side note after reading online some peoples opinions on these books it's important to note that Michael and I do have common sense and know what is a good parenting practice and what isn't! 

The main thing both Michael and I took away from this training was the child's perspective.  I have spent so much time thinking about logistics, how this will affect Tristan, what court dates and monitored visits will be like, what negative behaviors the child may have that I haven't ever tried to think about the child's perspective.  Part of me hadn't been able to conceptualize it but our exercises this weekend really helped.  Just try imagining a stranger taking you out of your school class, putting you in his car, and dropping you off at a strangers home in an hour period.  That was a more detailed story we were read aloud with our eyes closed so it was very powerful.  Another thing we did today- which was surprisingly difficult was a written exercise.  Try writing "me" in the middle of a piece of paper and then surround that "me" with the names of 10 essential people in your life.  Then cross of three, cross of another three, cross off two more, then one more.  It's just a paper, but really everyone was having difficulty deciding who do I cut out, who's more important, which kid do I choose, do I choose my wife or child?  And then just imagine that a child in foster care has had all of those people taken from them at once.  It's so hard to put into words on the blog, but it was powerful stuff.   

So on to the technical stuff.  

Here is what we have left- 

1. Home Walk Through 

2. Online Parenting Across Cultures Training 

3. Doctor's Appointment

4. Attachment Training

It sounds like a lot but it's not.  Basically after the attachment training on Oct. 28 we will be done.  Now yesterday I asked our Foster Family Specialist after she does our walk through and has all the paper work how long does it take to get certified and start getting phone calls.  I'm thinking maybe a couple weeks to get approved by them and the county- oh no.  She says maybe 24 hours!!!  Well ok!  So as of October 29 if we are lucky we could get a placement!  Of course depending upon what kids are needing homes it could be months before we get a placement that matches our profile- we shall see what God has in store for our family.  

We had to come up with a family mission statement during the training so I will share ours :

"Grounded in Faith, Supported by Family, Building a Strong Self"

Food

Well we have yet to experience the much talked about joys of the Kogi BBQ Truck, but we settled for Roy Choi's second restaurant Chego!  It serves Korean Rice Bowls (otherwise known as peasant food) but of course because he is crazy creative the bowls have crazy flavor combinations that were super delicious.  

It's hard to tell, but that's him cooking on a custom Scion with a grill coming out the back!  Now I will say Michael and I get a little giddy about seeing the chefs we've heard so much about- for us it's like seeing a movie star.  So the fact that he was there cooking right in front of us (a 2010 Food and Wine Best New Chef no less) was extremely exciting!  Tristan was also excited that because they only serve rice (no noodles- which is what he wanted) his dinner consisted of grape soda and ooey gooey fries!  Oh I almost had a heart attack when that was the only Tristan friendly option but I decided to go with it for one night. 

Church 

Another pastor and another amazing sermon today.  Lately they have just been so inspiring.  Our outreach pastor is an extremely passionate speaker and always, always makes me get teary eyed and fired up at the same time.  He just has the gift that anything he says makes me think, why aren't I doing that, he is so right!  Today he told this amazing story of his life and how all he can think is "what a privilege it is to know the gospel".  What a privilege it is.  There are so many who've never heard it, aren't allowed to hear it or don't know the joy in experiencing the gospel- what a privilege we have!  Feel free to visit belairpres.org to listen to his inspiring message called "Shameless Christianity".  Or just move to L.A. and come to church with us : )

Tristan

Tristan has been just amazing lately.  There are so many fun stories that I forget to write down and I really need to.  The other day he was on the bus with Michael and wanted to read the bible- such a special moment for us (he is retaining these things!).  Michael can't remember his exact words, but he folded his hands open and said something to the effect of "David and the giant, Bug's Life, Toy Story."  Aha- so the bible contains the story of David and Goliath and some Disney movies- if only it were that simple.

He had a super fantastic time at Jack's house all day yesterday.  So good that when we arrived to pick him up he immediately screamed, "No" at us and refused to leave.  I am not joking when I say we had to carry him screaming and bawling his eyes out to the car to take him home.  He even told me that he wanted to sleep there in Kent and Stacey's guest room and we could stay at our home- he didn't mind.  How blessed are we to have friends that Tristan loves so much!  He also visits Kai and Emma at least once a week and pretty much treats Emma like a second mom- testing her limits just like at home!

While in the car on the way home I tried to test out what he thought of God- that of course led to a hilarious line of questions like- where is God, well if he's everywhere is he playing with my toys?, etc, etc in circles until mom had no idea what to say anymore!  

And not that we doubt how smart Tristan is, but last night we drove past a BBQ restaurant and Tristan yells out, "Hey I saw Texas!"  Yep, there it was a large outline of the state of Texas on the sign for the restaurant.  Oh the things he retains in his big head!

Oh and obviously we are planning to only have one foster child right now but if you ask Tristan, he's convinced he's getting a brother and a sister.  So I'm a little concerned with what phone call God may surprise us with!